As I rose before the kids, I hoped their first early morning of the school year was eased ever so slightly with aromas of freshly baked waffles wafting throughout the house. Up at the break of dawn, I had the flour mixed, eggs lightly beaten, and the waffle iron hot before the full sunrise. A touch of peanut butter in the batter proved somewhat controversial in prior discussions, however that same touch also proved to be an extraordinarily welcomed addition on this early first day of school morning.
Now left with empty plates and syrup drips on the table, I find myself alone in the house for the first time in months. I've been looking forward to this day, but now that it's here, I find myself somewhat lonely, and even a little emotional.
|Then... and now.|
It seems only yesterday that I sent my little 5 year old boy off to kindergarten and watched in amazement as a few of the veteran moms simply popped their kids out of the the car, driving off with errands on their minds as I stood rooted to the playground grass watching my son keep his eye on me while he played.
As the bell rang the teacher mentioned it was time for parents to go. A look of fear passed over my son's face as he decided whether to run to me or follow the other kids to the line. He did go to the line but the tears welling up in his eyes brought tears to my own, tears which flowed again 4 hours later as he sprinted from the classroom and leaped into my open, waiting arms. Burying his head into my shoulder he cried how he had missed me, and I responded in like fashion.
A similar scenario followed for a few years, but today things are different. My six-foot tall junior in high school still has to let me drive him to school due to the lack of his car ownership, however he pops out of the car as soon as traffic slows, and today there is no looking back at mommy... no tears in his lake blue eyes. But there were tears in mine.
I know my time is coming close. I know that two years from now I will also be dropping him off at school, but that day he won't be coming home when the school day is done. Hopefully he'll home for Christmas break, but I know the man who comes home will be different from the man I drop off. And while I'm so very proud of that person he is becoming, I also know I will forever miss that little boy who ran into my arms and missed me.
But for today, there were waffles. My waffles, and he liked them. He even said thanks, and I got an ever so quick pat on the shoulder before we headed to the car. He chatted on the ride, and I savored each and every second of our time alone in the car together.
I know my husband and I have done a good job, we've prepared him for life without us and he will succeed. He is confident, bright and eager to grow. He will go out into the world and I will become more of an afterthought... as it should be. But he will miss my waffles.